why can't i be you?.......in vegas

my boss, "smarty," went on a weekend vegas trip. he left thursday night and called me from a cab to tell me he was in sin city hours before he was supposed to be because he caught an earlier flight. you can hear the excitement in his voice. i was excited for him. excited and jealous (even though i went to vegas a few weeks ago.) he's a gambler. he bets the ponies most weekends. and in vegas he usually sticks to roulette and some small time games like the big wheel. i know, wtf? but this trip he was determined to roll the dice. the day before he left he was playing some online craps table (not for money) just to get a feel for the game.

friday afternoon my cell phone rings. and it's him. he's laughing, sounds like he's having a good time. tells me he's drinking a screwdriver and that he was up until 9:30 in the morning gambling. and get this, the bastard rolled for an hour and made $300 from $20 on craps. and then he played roulette where he was up $1300. $1300!!!! on roulette!! he was building a city of chips. and he was playing with $25 chips. and he said he was so drunk at the table that he was tipping the roulette guy $25. it's like it was easy fucking money. and he kept tempting me to come out and join him.

as i've said, i was in vegas a few weeks ago. and though i was up, i wasn't that far up. i have NEVER won that kind of money in vegas. i felt good on my last outing cause i actually hit the poker room and on the first night of play, which lasted only a couple hours, i had more than doubled my money. so i was up $121.50. hooray. the next day i sat in the same poker room and after 7 hours of play had only gone up $11. $11 fucking measly dollars!! granted, i had been down for a lot of that time. tight players, not getting cards, not winning big pots, just having a shit time of it really. and i was determined not to leave the table down. but after investing all that time to only be up $11 is incredibly disheartening. meanwhile my friend is playing stupid roulette and hitting pretty much every single time he's there -- on my numbers!!! i know i should have sat down with him and bet , ok, OUR, numbers but i just didn't. for whatever bogus dumbass reason i didn't. instead i was taunted cruelly by my number superstitions. fucking 23. why do i love you so much?

it's never fun to see people make money so easily. even if they are your friends. i mean, i'm happy for them, but tell me, why can't i be YOU?....... in vegas.