the kids are alright

in the early 90s i went to a performing arts high school in west los angeles. i used to hate it. 10th grade was miserable. i hung out with the same small crew of friends from junior high. and everyday we would sit and bitch about how boring and lame the rest of the student body were. with a mocking venom in my voice i referred to hami as something approaching "fame" complete with kids crooning down the crowded halls and girls practicing their pouts as they perform pirouettes and plies in front of their precious mirrors. just lamer. i guess i had a lot of superiority issues back then.

but i see now why i felt like that. the junior high friends i spent my time with weren't in the performing arts school. they were in the humanities school. and so we never even had classes with each other. we were held together by weak bonds - our former connections, our otherness, and our knack for making fun of others for their otherness. and really i wasn't very close to these people. there was really only one person's company i enjoyed, and it was that of the "dudeness monster." so when the dudeness monster bailed out on me and went to another school i was left to form new friendships.

i was in a performing arts school. i liked to sing. i should get more involved. so i tried out for some of the choral groups and got in. and so slowly school became bearable. i found that not everyone in those groups were divas or show kids who thought they were god's gift to the arts. don't get me wrong, there were plenty of those types around. there were also plenty of talentless people who seemed to get top roles in everything because their families were affiliated with the school or their mothers volunteered there. these were the kids i continued to mock. but there were also the lovely quirky people, the people with enormous talent that knew it was cooler to be modest than showy. and these were the kids i connected with, and continue to connect with. and so school became fun.

i sang soprano with the concert choir, added my voice to the a capella madrigals group, and even performed in a couple of the musicals. and i gotta be honest, there's something terribly thrilling about hearing your voice dance and mingle with those of other people, creating moods with swelling sounds, telling tales with lines of lyric. music is indeed a magical language.

so now i have a romantic fondness for my high school and the many talented people and gifted performances to have graced the stage of its auditorium. i feel fortunate to have been part of its musical tradition. so when my friend, "bard," asked if i wanted to see the musical "On the Town" at my old school, i was more than happy to come along.

i've bragged to him about how professional some of the productions are; from the kids on stage, to the costumes and sets, the lighting, even the music. penquin, who has seen a couple productions there when we were dating and my sister was a student there, agreed that hami shows are a cut above most high school shows. so friday night the three of us went to see "On the Town."

it was strange being back on the campus. some new buildings have sprouted up in the parking lot. the auditorium now has a concession stand. but for the most part it's the same school i spent my youth in. apparently, it's also the same school that i can spend my adulthood in because, while i was waiting for the show to start, i was asked by a faculty volunteer if i was there for the student rush tickets. hahahhaha awesome.

so we're in the theater now. it's not quite full. there are plenty of annoying girls to get my hateration started. i am reminded of how much i don't like teens. i'm trying to avoid seeing my smelly teacher (i don't think he recognized or remembered me, but i was playing it safe.) yet i am hypocritically immature with bard as we make fun of unsuspecting elderly women, the "diab sister," the queer boys, and best of all the ill-abbreviated titles in the program - Ass. Production Manager, Ass. Wig Manager, Ass. Lighting Designer! what was the Ass. Program Editor thinking??!!!

finally the lights go down and the orchestra, after tuning for what seemed like 20 minutes, start the overture. and instantly i am worried. the horns and strings are stumbling to find the right notes, despite all the warming up. i turn to bard and we begin to crack up. and i think, "dear lord, please let it not be like this the whole way through or i will surely lose it." the curtain parts and there's this skinny black kid lowing in his not quite polished bass voice. it's not horrible, but it's certainly not quieting the murmuring anixety which suggests my attendance here tonight is a huge mistake.

happily, that feeling didn't last because these kids were good. some of them were even great. "On the Town" isn't really my kind of musical. the story is weak, there's a lot more dancing than singing, but the kids in this production helped me forget about my biases and actually enjoy it. one of the lead guys reminded me of my friend, gideon, who was always one of the leads in our musicals. so that was a nice little throwback to yesteryear. (although, gideon, wherever you are, you were much better.) there were a lot of strong performers. the girls were all quite good, the girl playing "hildy" exceptional. even some of the smaller characters were outstanding. and usually when i think of a song and dance musical there's the worry that the talent won't hold up to both parts equally. sometimes they are stronger dancers than singers or vice versa. but i found that most of the cast could pull it all together.

i felt a kind of pride for these kids, a pride in this school that cultivates this kind of talent. and when the show was over we applauded our appreciation in loud rhythmic bursts.

it may not have been me and my friends up there on stage, but the kids are alright.