today, thus far

really mixed up day so far. got to work and had to sit through a long meeting about the company's questionable irresponsibility for airing a show about over-the-counter drug abuse. kids are taking cough and cold medicines to get high.

some people objected to the glorification of the high, and the ease with which it can be obtained. others thought we presented the dangers of this type of drug abuse fairly, maintaining the balance of reporting on an issue that teens relate to while being mindful of our audience's impressionability. it's just one of those topics we have to be considerably more careful about reporting.

then i got back to my office to find that MPP's fish has finally succumbed to whatever ailments he was suffering from. poor little thing. he's just floating sideways in his container now. and starting to smell. it's kinda icky really.

and i don't know if it's better to call MPP and tell him his fish is dead, or let him enjoy his day and only mention the fish just as he's entering the room, or not say anything at all and just let him find the fish on his own. what's a girl to do?

i don't know how to deal with death or sensitive situations. what can i do except offer my sympathy? i guess that's all i can do. say i'm sorry and maybe just listen or be there or something. perhaps it depends on what his reaction will be. i can gauge his reaction and develop a proper response from that.

i also don't want to be held responsible for the death of his fish. i don't think he'll blame me, but it's always hard to be the bearer of bad news, especially since i kept telling him to just get a new fish.

(although yesterday i genuinely was upset and appalled by a trick MPP played on me regarding his fish. we were joking around about throwing crap into its tank because he was dying anyways, and what did it matter if we polluted his water with spongebob gummis and crackers. so he took this sour gummi and put it in the tank. i told him that was mean and that he sucked, and then he removed it with a spoon or knife and then started swirling the water ferociously with it. i thought MPP had gone crazy! this guy loves this fish and here he is swirling its water like a madman!! i was so upset it turned my stomach a little and i stormed away. and then MPP started laughing saying that his fish wasn't in the tank and how he got me good. and blah blah blah. i guess it was a good trick, but it was pretty mean-spirited. but i guess he was getting me back for all the mean jokes i pulled on him.)

so that's kinda weighing heavy on my mind.

but i'm also proud of myself for helping one of the editors with a project. normally i would wait until after 2pm and assign the project to someone. but today i thought i'd give it a shot, see if i could figure out a solution to his problem, exercise a little of the knowledge i've "learned" by osmosis. so i hopped on one of the machines, poked around some files, and approximated what i thought would work for the editor. after a few other minor fixes and adjustments the graphics magic/mischief that i created worked! i was so happy about doing something without having to ask someone how or ask someone to do it for me. it felt really good. like i really earned my paycheck this week.

(i was inspired to tackle today's plea for help because yesterday i created something for another co-worker who desperately needed something from someone in my department who wouldn't be in until later in the day. and i picked up the pieces for this co-worker and was able to deliver a project for him that he said was better than what he would have gotten from the original person. [i realize this is all very vague and confusing, dear reader. but i'm almost finished.] what it really boils down to is that i like feeling like a hero. i like the acknowledgement from my peers that i've done a job well done, that i've saved the day. hooray for me!)

i'm personally having a stellar day. but i know it may have to be reined in out of respect for other people's feelings.

and that's where i am today, thus far.