i am evil, medieval

i cannot resist taking a joke too far. and when pushed to vindictiveness, i will dole it out tenfold. i can't help the evil. my conscience - the good that i have in me - is quieted by a supernatural force. a force wielding one very large pillow, a plastic bag, and some duct tape. call it son of sam syndrome. call it the twinkie defense. or call what it is - inexcusable.

i know it's not right. i know by taking a joke to catastrophically dangerous depths i am asking for punishment without pity. and yet, the willful knowledge of hurting someone's feelings is not enough to deter me. by prematurely accepting the consequences of my actions i afford myself the feeling of guiltlessness. of course, this is childish reasoning. of course i am well past the age of condoning this behavior. and of course, i am too stubborn to have this make any difference to me.

muhahahahahahha

so because my work space was not deemed worthy enough to receive an "A" rating for cleanliness (i got a B) i decided, nay was compelled, to make the "judge/inspector" pay for this oversight. so when judge/inspector went to lunch, i befouled their space with crumpled napkins, open packets of ketchup and taco sauce, paper clips, cookie crumbs, dental floss, screws, old magazines, bits of plastic i found on the floor. a bunch of garbage, and placed the "F" rating they had given to someone else onto their desk. hee!

there was a moment where i paused and considered only doing the paper clips, screws, and bits of plastic. but that hardly seemed amusing enough. i mean, what's the point if no one is going to be grossed out by it?! yes, the ketchup packets will have to be employed, crumbled graham crackers needs must find their way dangerously close to the fresh keyboard. judge/inspector is lucky i didn't have any sticky liquids at my immediate disposal.

suffice to say, judge/inspector was NOT amused. and i was publicly reprimanded.

way to spoil the joke. way to make me feel like a horrible person for attempting to perform the ultimate joke. sheesh.

i'm just a misunderstood prankster.

and maybe just a little evil. half-evil.