honk if you're hornless

so here's an embarrassing car story for you.

friday afternoon i'm driving with my folks to some air-conditioned location. i'm on the freeway where there's only a moment's pause to merge with the traffic. i'm stuck behind this car that's exiting at a snail's pace. so to avoid running into him i have to slow down to merge. this car behind me sees my turn signal on, sees that i have to get over or else run into the boundary where the exit splits from the rest of the freeway, and decides that he is going to try and slip his way around me and back into my lane. but he's not going fast enough to pull off this maneuver and almost sideswipes me. so i honk at him. not a little "beep beep ahem you suck." i honk furiously at him. pounding on my horn for a "BEEP BEEP WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU ASSHOLE!" and then it sticks. and so my horn is blaring non-stop. and the car that i honked at is looking back at me like "wtf?" but whatever, he totally fucking deserved it.

and so i'm driving around glendale seemingly pissed off at the world. and i start laughing because the horn just won't quit. and i have to throw my hands up in the air every now and again so that the people i'm driving behind understand that i'm not being an impatient bitch, that there's really something wrong with my car.

i stop in the parking lot of a 7-eleven and turn the car off. the horn is still screaming. fuck fuck fuck. now this is really embarrassing. so i decide my best bet is to drive down the brand boulevard of cars to the toyota dealership and service location. and as i'm driving the horn is continuing it's relentless holler. and i wonder if people think that i'm part of some obnoxious promotion or parade.

i finally get to the toyota dealership. and they're staring at me, glaring at me. and once again i throw my hands up in the air to show that the situation is clearly beyond my control. i pop the hood and run out of my car. and the noise is much much louder with the hood up. this dealer guy comes over and pops something out of somewhere, a fuse or something, and the horn dies. i offer him my gratitude and he says that i need to get the horn checked out and replaced. turns out the quick fix of this auto-surgeon was to break the offending part. seems a bit drastic. like shooting a horse for having a splinter in its neck.

yeah. so that sucked.

now i don't have a horn, no honking abilities. and i can't even honk if i'm hornless.

well, i guess i can still brake for stuff.