chick-book review

over the weekend i read It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe.

it's not a very long book, the language is simple, and the story is very basic (a middle-aged woman recounts in birthday "state-of-the union" style journal entries all the things that have gone wrong and right (mostly wrong) in her life). however, it took me all weekend to read the barely 200+ pages of the book because, frankly, i wanted nothing more than to put it down.

how they can compare this piece of crap to bridget jones's diary is beyond me. this is not like bridget jones's diary. not even close. It's My F---ing Birthday is pathetic in a completely humorless way. every chapter repeats itself with unhappy birthday celebrations with family members who annoy, humiliate, and infuriate not only the narrator but the reader as well. i wanted to punch these fictitious people. punch them right in the baby maker. punch them and then stab them with butterknives, then stuff them into pilllow cases and throw them down a sewer drain. i want to do the same with the book's author.

our "hero" is no charmer, nor is she very believable, nor do you feel any sympathy toward her. what this character is, is a needy, self-loathing, wretch who continually obsesses over a horrible lost love, winds up in relationships that are not only wrong, but fucking lame, and spends her birthdays year after year with her despicable parents who berate, nitpick and insult their daughter for kicks. and she never really develops beyond this! so after reading the first two chapters of this book you think, ok, something's going to change. she's going to apply all the lessons she's learned from the previous year and change. but no! she is in fucking Groundhog's Day. and she's doomed to repeat each misstep next year.

there was nothing redeeming to be read in It's My F---ing Birthday. it wasn't entertaining. it wasn't clever. the situations weren't original. the characters are boring and uninspired.

i hate hate hate this book!!!

the rage is coming back just writing about it.

i must stop now before my head explodes.

don't read this book. it sucks.

in short, It's My F---ing Birthday is more grrrrrrrrrrrrr power than grrrrrrrrrrl power.