written in the stars or horror in my 'scope

one of the first things i do when i get to work is look up my stars. but i've gotten to them a little late today and am a bit disappointed in what they have to say to me. not because they forecast tempests, stormy weather, or even light showers, but because, well, you'd think they would know me better by now. here's what i mean:

Virgo
For once you may feel utterly free to fly in any direction you choose. Whichever way you turn, good fortune will be on your side. While key adjectives frequently used to describe you are 'practical' and 'methodical,' the stars find you feeling much more outrageous than usual. Should you go out this evening, you will astound those who know you with your free spirit. Enjoy being the center of attention and surprising those around you.
- By Astrology.com


ok. wait a minute. when have i ever been described as 'practical' and 'methodical'?? these are not the adjectives we're looking for. and as to their frequency of use? i'd say i've maybe been called practical 3 times. including this time from the stars. which is not to say that i don't possess the ability to think or act practically. i have been known on occasion to exhibit signs of a stable pragmatic mind. but for the stars to suggest outright that i am 'practical' and 'methodical' is a bit of a reach. and for that matter a stab in the dark resulting in a poke in the eye. call me constructively conscientious. pronounce me the personification of psychotic preamble. hell, brand me with lexicon that befits my scattered brain. but tag me with 'practical' and 'methodical'?? sheesh!

but isn't it funny that instead of praising the stars for all the good it's prophesizing for me, here i am complaining, nitpicking, and being a bit of a snot towards it. where i should be reveling in all the good fortune that could befall me this evening, i mock the stars in its inability to find the phrase or words that more accurately suit me. i feel the tide's about to turn. the stars are going to stab me in the back and foresee only gloom and doom. ugh. what have i done?? i need to mend the friendship. i need to provide acts of good faith to restore my good standing with the stars. what i need is - A RITUAL SACRIFICE!!!

brb. gotta find a goat.....